This used to be me my friends. I used to worry about EVERYTHING!!! What if I said something that someone else didn’t like? What if I reacted a certain way and the outcome was worse? Was I nice enough to that person? What would tomorrow bring? Would I be prepared? What if I wasn’t? How would I deal with it? I’m not kidding you when I tell you, anything I could worry about, I did.
But, here’s when things changed for me. In high school I was never in the “popular clique”. I was an athlete, playing soccer and basketball, but I was never “part of them”. I felt like I never was good enough (which was obviously my own perception and what I told myself). While I was a stellar student and athlete, I truly lacked confidence when I was off the field or out of the classroom.
After senior year and preparing for college, I vividly remember packing up my things to leave for Freshman Orientation and I made a decision. I recall saying to myself, this is my opportunity. This is the time I can actually be me! Nobody knows me. Nobody has preconceived notions about me. Now is the time – and I seized it.
I went off to college with a totally different mindset. I was going to make my own mark and stop living in worry. Stop being anxious over every little thing or every word I said. Now, of course I fell back into my “old self” a few times as change takes work – hard work. But I committed to it and persevered.
And ever since college graduation and moving through different hills and valleys in my life this is what I stand by now. You will never make everyone happy, so let it go!!! Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. That saying has helped me on so many levels throughout my life.
But especially since becoming a mom.
Let’s get real here. Being a parent is HARD WORK! I don’t even care if there was a manual on this, it would never be all-inclusive or up-to-date, so why bother, right? I know I’m not alone with this with the “mom guilt” or “dad guilt”. When you do or say something that you thought was pretty good in the moment, then afterwards your first thought was “crap, my kid’s going to need therapy for sure now”.
We try so hard to do right by our kids. We put so much pressure on ourselves to be these picture perfect adults who don’t make mistakes ourselves….which is ludicrous. We all make mistakes. The difference is if we own up to them or not. Or, if you feel passionate about something, and feel like it really wasn’t a mistake, then stand steadfast in your decision and own it.
So many things in this world we need to worry about. School shootings. Drugs. Bullying. But with that also comes opportunity. Opportunity to teach our kids about gun safety. Let them know the dangers of drugs. Show them how to be compassionate to all people regardless of circumstance. And have them learn by our example.
But we cannot dwell on all the worry in the world. Sure, it will give us something to do and focus on, but it will never get us anywhere. And what you think about comes about.
Today, make a commitment to yourself (and your family) to begin limiting the amount of worry in your life. While it will always be there in some capacity, choose to start focusing on all the good that surrounds you and that you only have this one life to live. This is not a dress rehearsal.
Get off that rocking chair my friends, let it go, and move mountains instead!