Failure. How would you describe it? Do you define it as not achieving a goal? Do you define it as not getting what you want? Do you define it as losing a game? Do you define it as coming in last in a marathon? Do you define it as crashing and burning when you attempt something new? Honestly, I think the word “failure” is relative, depending on the person and interpretation. But what I can tell you with absolute certainty, is that failure is all made up in our own heads – something we create!
So many times the clients I work with tell me they are afraid to fail so they hold back and don’t follow their dreams, they don’t take smart risks, they don’t listen to their gut, or they come up with excuses why they can’t do something. Then, I always ask, “When did life become about perfection when it’s really about progress”? That one always stumps them. And it’s meant to!
So where did this idea of failure really come from? From our childhood perhaps? Growing up we were told not to do something because it was too risky and we might get hurt. Trust me, I heard that all the time. To play safe, right! Then, as we got older, we felt disappointment when we didn’t score a goal, land a date with the person we really liked, or ace a test. One person can only handle so much rejection and disappointment, right? So what happened? We got down on ourselves. We became paralyzed with fear. We tried to step out of our comfort zone and it didn’t quite work out as we planned so we chalked it up to failure and let it weigh us down.
Trust me when I tell you, been there, done that!!!
For YEARS, I would constantly put pressure on myself and then get depressed when things didn’t turn out perfect. Then I would be paralyzed and wouldn’t try anything new for quite some time. I started to put my dreams and passions on the back burner, because they were BIG DREAMS and I didn’t want to get knocked down anymore. At that time, I wasn’t in the right mind to look at things from another perspective and I didn’t have anyone encouraging me to try again, but differently. I felt like a loser and became comfortable with that. Sucks, right??? And if you’ve been there or are in that place now, you know what I’m talking about.
But now, personally, I don’t believe in failure because it’s always an opportunity to learn. Always a different way we can think about things if our mindset is in a different place. It takes a lot of mentoring, coaching, and self-development to get into a place where failure is non-existent. Even when I go “Oh crap, that didn’t work out AT ALL”, I slip back into that “failure” mentality but snap right back out. And that’s why I love doing what I do. I help show people the way and show them what they interpret as a “failure” is actually a stepping stone to success. Can you fathom that 🙂
And believe me when I tell you…if you have a goal or dream or passion and aren’t pursuing it because of risk of “failure” you are only robbing yourself of happiness and that’s no way to live life my friends!