I have two young children. My son is 6 and my daughter is 4. I’m trying be cognizant and pay attention as to when, exactly, we have this mindset shift that all we want to do it please others, regardless of how it makes us feel.
Currently, my daughter, specifically, thinks the world revolves around her and that it doesn’t matter what other people think or feel, really, but life is about making herself happy. She plays with what she wants. She watches “her shows” on TV. She plays “her games” on the tablet. She isn’t waking up every day trying to make others happy. Her main concern is herself.
Now, don’t get me wrong, as we do get older and our brains develop and we become better at reasoning we realize the world doesn’t always revolve around us. That we have friends, family, colleagues, spouses, and partners to think about as our actions can positively or negatively impact them. So, I’m not saying that we should remain ignorant to those around us by any means.
When it comes down to it, it’s like we are walking a tight rope for sure.
But in all seriousness, when does it get to the point that all we want to do it make others happy and as a result, our souls die a little bit inside and we begin losing our sense of self. We wake up every morning wanting to make sure we don’t upset anyone or get anyone mad at us because that would just eat us up inside.
When does it get to the point that we lower our standard to let it be okay that people walk all over us, use us, and not care for us or our feelings.
When does it get to the point that we feel lost in this world if we are not making someone else happy and it’s ok for us to suffer.
When does it become ok that we allow someone else’s opinion of us to then become what we think of ourselves?
When do we allow others in society to take away so much of our power and we don’t care?
I’m trying to pay attention to see when that happens, initially. I’m not a betting person, but I’d bet the majority of us have felt that way at some point in our lives. For me, it was high school. I never wanted to ruffle any feathers. I didn’t really speak my mind. I didn’t really do what I wanted to do because I was too worried about making others happy. And I wanted to be like the “cool kids” and never really grasped the concept of being authentically myself and that was enough.
And maybe many of you are still in that place. I am here to tell you it’s ok to change. It’s ok to stop thinking you need to make everyone happy – because you don’t. You will never feel truly fulfilled in this life if you are always giving to others and not taking care of yourself. You need to be happy with YOU!
Seriously – you are not chocolate.